22

I'm confused again... I feel lost and alone. This person is me, isn't it? But, am I allowed to be me? If being me results in being alone, would I really want it? This situation will completely contradict who I am... Or who I thought I was. Am?

I realized something someone told me was true... At first I thought it was unnecessary for them to even think it, but in the end I got kinda hurt... And their words came back to me. He really only cared and saw past what I saw. And then that situation got me thinking about what another friend said to me that also applied... It's so weird, but I see what he was talking about now. Things make sense now...

I always thought I was a great listener... But, here I find I don't listen very well and I don't pay attention very well either. I seem to be so oblivious to so many things. Man, I got so much growing up to do.

I think I still don't know who my friends are. I think I still don't know who I can really trust and who I can really rely on. Wow I can't think, there's so much going on right now I can't even organize my freak'n thoughts.

I went up north to see the stars some nights ago with my secret lover. They were totally gorgeous and I was reminded of my childhood.