16

I'm getting somewhere closer to where I really want to be. Somehow I think I'll manage if I try just a little bit harder. It's so hard and lonesome though, but I know I got some great friends. Sadly Glue and I don't talk anymore, I don't talk to Wang much anymore either. Lately it's been me and David. This past week we went to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and Surrogates with some friends. We played tennis in the dark and hide & seek at Battle Creek as well. It's been fun and random. Oh and I got to hang out with Mong and Bobby too (: I think I'll try to find more things to do with my time instead of sleeping in so much. I've been getting up at around 3 or 4 in the afternoon, going to work and staying up till 6 or 7 depending on when I get off of work. Life's stressful and I got some problems that I gotta take care of... Hopefully they don't become too serious ; o;

About Shiji I'm not sure what to do, I'm confused and lost about this as well. He never talks to me so I never know what I'm doing or where I'm supposed to go with this. He still thinks about his last girl, but says I'm not a rebound... I guess I'll believe in him. I think even if I did get hurt in the end I won't regret it. Maybe I'll just regret on passing up on the few good guys I did get to meet because I'm so crazy over Shiji.

Ugh and that creep Romee texted me around last week for late night sex, then the next night for money T_T;; Of course I said no to the first one, but the second he needed gas money and his credit card wasn't working... I was at work so I told him to call his friends instead and he said to me, "thanks friend" fjdksal;fjdsa;lfjdas I felt soooo bad ; o; I think if I wasn't working I'd have gone to help him ):

Thought Trails

I want to feel alive all the time 24/7 always and forever from here on out. I want to see the world in the blink of an eye, within the whispers of a passing kiss. I want to feel the wonders of the world within the hold of a hand and become breathless from the burden of the beauty. I want to see the ends of the universe within a stranger's eyes. To be taught the meaning of life just by taking a breath when I've fallen into despair. I want to feel like I'm falling endlessly whenever I look to the sky. Some days I want my heart broken just to know that I'm alive. Some days I want to run out somewhere where no one will find me, where no one could reach me just to know how painful the distance really could be. All this in a day, someday, everyday.

*****

I participated in the Dragon Boat Festival here at Phalen in rowing a dragon boat. I'm so glad I didn't back out at the last second like I was originally planning. I only said yes in the first place because I was thinking of that Yes-Man movie haha~ But it was a fun experience, we got 12th place out of 22 I think.
That day my friend Crabby thought this one guy looked kinda cute so I went up to him and asked him in this order, if he had a girlfriend (no), if I could have his number for my friend (um this is unexpected), and for his name which I won't mention. After that David said that he looked like Blue, this guy he knew from high school whom, on our first meeting I'd asked him to flex for me because he looked really buff, and Crabby said he looked and had the same name as the guy her gay friend was trying to hit on. Turns out it was the same guy her friend was trying to hit on, and he's also Blue's younger brother. The world is so small.

I'm thinking of changing my work schedule from daytime to graveyard shifts. It's a little scary and intimidating because I don't know how my life is going to go with that change, but for now I guess I'll go with the flow. If my manager never contacts me about the change or it isn't possible then whatever. It's not totally necessary anyways. Though I do love working with the people who come in at night and it would leave my daytime open for holidays and stuff... Ah the pros and cons...

I feel bad I haven't put up any of my recent works... Well actually at this point and time it's not even recent anymore. I'd like to work on new drawings and stuff, but I've not been inspired to do anything at all as of late. Maybe I'm not as serious as I always thought I was.

slick.

i... i have neglected this place once again... lately i've been doing nothing but playing Slick Audition... it's a private server and a lot more fun than SEA or AAU. Hmmm... I finally BU'd for the first time haha Kow is really good D: i think i'll have to practice more to maybe someday become a better opponent... There's this really stupid fad going on on Slick lately... Random guys come and ask if you wanna couple them D: i only accept bc i get munnies :3 then they break it off so i don't lose anything 8D

uh anyways, besides gaming... i haven't been doing much. let's see... when was the last time i blogged? uh... xmas was okay. hectic. omfg did i blog about that already >_>;; oh lawl okay nvm. i only posted a picture. well we went to my sis's house, then we went to my bf's parent's house. i was surprised, but i received some presents from his side of the family :O

new years was freak'n gay lol... Lan kept pestering me to invite my friends over bc we once talked about hanging out at my place and drinking, but I didn't think it would happen... not like we were really serious about it... so i did invite them and Lan had some friends over too. our groups of friends are very different. so different that it was really awkward. only a few of my friends drank... lawl maybe 2 of them got really buzzed then my bf and his friends went to the bar while my friends and i went to an ice rink... DIFFERENT RIGHT?! Lan ended up getting wasted and knocking out that night while i stayed up late slicking tee hee~

ugh... recently... i hate work. and... i've stopped playing slick so much... did a little drawing... omg DX i still haven't finished the new years picture.

OH YEAH and i just finished Kannagi. just last night 8D Kannagi was good. very good. i'm so glad i watched it now. i still lol every time i watch the opening. i love her fish-out-of-water dance. there's got to be a 2nd season!!! there's still things that they left unexplained D: i can't remember what they are now, but that's okay. oh yeah, and Lan and i started watching Gurren Lagann lawl :D KAMINAAAAAAA oh god he's gotta be the manliest animu chara... i totally love him. err... and i watched the first episodes of Binbou Shimai Monogatari or w/e... and also Ashita no Nadja... um... oh and i wanna start watching Strike Witches.

shit. i need to finish my portfolio.

magic carpet ride

um... in case no one noticed, the first line to my last entry was a link lol so yeah, if you didn't know, then it probably didn't make a whole lot of sense.

last week, my niece was falling asleep while eating a honey bun lol so i washed her hands, but she was swaying back and forth lolol so cute! then yesterday, she fell asleep on her eggroll lol!

i don't have my tablet for this week. i'm so sad )': i lent it to my friend, lue. i think he fell in love with it lol well, i'm glad bc he needs to get back into drawing.

oh this past weekend, on saturday i hung out with my friends... haven't hung out like that in such a long time. we uh... went to rosedale mall and i spent lots of munnies on lunchboxes for lan and me lol the lunchboxes... the little um bag for it, spoons and forks, chopsticks and those little straps to hold it together. oh crap i didn't take pictures yet lol well, i'll post them next time, maybe. they're so super cute! i also bought a chinese movie and some fingerless naruto gloves for lan. after that, lan and i went to the casino to eat and gamble~ i think overall we got back what we lost except for the buffet food. or something like that anyways. sunday i didn't do anything but work, though i went an hour late @_@;; i should stop being so late. ummmm and yesterday we went to the bar to celebrate his friend's birthday. the dood got so super drunk lol!

about art... i'll be doing some sprites for temptress-alora from dA. sounds fun and easy (: i might post up the drawings, if she allows. hopefully i'll have them done in two weeks. maybe i'll just download more event files instead of blogging so insanely long haha~

[this] was very interesting. i feel really sorry, how could this happen? how will this boy grow up? it's gotta be all that pollution...