Cut

I cut myself today while cutting some fruit.
It was a tiny cut, but in that instant
time went by slowly
so I could feel every movement of the knife.

Last night at around midnight or so,
a friend since middle school called me.
There was a time when he & I could have dated,
but there was a lot of misunderstandings
so it didn't happen.
His cousin had a thing for me, too,
but that wasn't mutual.
Anyways, the last time I talked to my friend
was quite a while ago so it surprised me.
At the time he was dating a girl
and he told me that if they lasted the lease of their apartment
then they would get married.
But, last night I found out they had broken up a while ago.
I worry about him because we've known each other for so long now.
He's into some things that I wish he would quit, too.
He did say, though, that things are looking up for him right now.
I hope things stay that way and that he has a good life.
He's a good guy and I wish the best for him.

It's a little depressing when I think about it though.
I hope he still doesn't carry feelings for me.
When it's not mutual, it's a little lonely.
And after so many years, I could only imagine what it's like.
At times like these,
I find that the best song to listen to is,
"We Love You 世界は、キミを愛している" by Miyavi.
Humans seem so fragile...
We scurry upon this planet trying to live our lives the best we can.
There's so many people out there it's a little overwhelming.
How many people will I get to meet in my life-time?
How many will I come to love? How many will love me?
How deep are these bonds that we come across everyday?
To me, it's not easy to forget people.
Even now, I still think of my childhood.
Back in elementary school, I still remember their faces and names.
Most of them anyways.
I still remember what the classroom looked like.
I remember where they sat; where I sat.
What they wore, what their hair looked like.
Their voices, though a little distant.
I remember the playgrounds...
The tennis court where no one played tennis.
The swings that we always lined up to.
The long road which I'd never seen a car come through.
The monkey bars from which my cousin and friend climbed.
My family moved around a lot so my siblings and I transferred a lot.
There were many schools that I'd gone to.
So many people. So many faces.
I don't think I'll forget them for the rest of my life.
I wonder if they remember me, too?